What is it with Primary Schools and Dioramas?

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I’m trying to come to terms with the educational value of dioramas.

My second son has to create a gold rush themed diorama featuring mines, winches, gold pans and the good old Eureka Stockade.

With my first son it was dinosaurs. God it felt good running over the 6 inch high clay dinosaur with the lawn mower.

It seems Australian history for 10 year-olds is all about World War 1 lost battles, thieves in steel armour and some guy named Patrick Lalor.

Like most “good” parents I want to get involved which means doing it for him under supervision. “He has to learn to delegate tasks to underlings”, I rationalise.

I was tempted to spray the inside of a shoe box black and label it: “Australian Gold fields at night”, but my wife said that was too sarcastic and hinted of creative laziness.

I also suggested a burnt Eurkea flag stuck in a box with blood splatters. That too was knocked back as being too profound and designed to get the school’s social worker thought-police into the creative loop. I’m also scared of the Builders Labourers Federation.

If I ever become God and rule the universe, my school and university rules will be:

1. No craft
2. No fund-raising
3. No group projects (especially with full-fee paying students from non-English speaking countries)
4. No freaking dioramas

I suspect back in 1973 the Queensland Department of Education decided to try the diorama model to make learning more relevant, more tactile, more fun.

They failed. Dioramas suck. They are bad ju-ju and sap the soul.

Unfortunately no one ever went back and asked the Department: “So are dioramas worth the effort?”

What’s wrong with badly selected cut and pasted pictures of wombats and smiling, rosy-cheeked Vegemite children from Womens’ Weekly on a bit of tatty yellow cardboard?

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Update: I sent a link to this post off to the very funny Frances Whiting of the Brisbane Sunday Mail. She must have been inspired enough to write more about dioramas and primary school. See PDF of article here: Frances Whiting Story